EOTW SATIRICAL GAME HEADLINES

Sadder But Wiser – Creators of Sadness Strike Back with New Game on Grintendo’s newest console!

A Terrible Prospect! – The Nordic videogame company QHT did interview with a convicted criminal who was found with unsavoury images of miners—presumably in the comfort of their own mines. When asked about this, QHT’s CEO said, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

Awesome Wells! – The Citizen Kane of gaming has been found! Rare Atari film adaptation of the cinematic masterpiece has been discovered in an abandoned well in the Nevada desert near to the infamous ET landfill. 

Grin and Bear it – Grintendo receives severe backlash for announcing new console that runs on renewable energy source that can actually power your home and reduce your energy bills. Hardcore gamers complain, “Look, innovation has no place in gaming. We like things a certain way and we expect these massive corporations to know that!”

Electronic Artifice announce that Beeyond—the triple A loot shooter where there are no bullets anymore and everyone instead just shoots bees at each other—was released unfinished and they apologise for not capitalising on this fact and marketing the game accordingly.

Disabled gamer with no hands was told to ‘git gud’ at fighting game tournament after coming second.

The biggest event for women in the games industry cancelled due to women deciding that it would be best to work on a way to escape planet earth and leave the male population behind rather than fix the current industry situation.

Yikes! Independent game developer of the JRPG inspired 2000: A Pretentious Odyssey responds to backlash of his game by declaring the death of the video games medium as an art form. Gamers respond by ignoring him and his future output. 

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s the remaster you never asked for! Superman 64  Remastered was announced for all consoles with the premium Kryptonite Edition—containing all the flaws of the original game for that authentic, classic feeling—at double the price of the standard edition.

A Growing Concern? – Starvest Moon developer causes controversy with job post looking for an administrator who’s good at managing 5 different job as at the same time. 

A Spot of Trouble! – Kong’s stock takes a deep plunge as Confectionery Crush Trypophobia Edition launched last week, causing a small percentage of people In the world to curl into a ball and want to die

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